Friday, November 16, 2018

The Truths of Parenting (Losing Sleep)

It's 1:35 a.m. and I'm watching CocoMelon with my son.
He woke up around 1 a.m. and was ready to play. He'll probably stay awake for 2-3 hours until he's ready to go back to sleep.
I've had a total of 3 hours of sleep.
Yupp. That's right....3 hours. And I'm kinda pissed.
My husband and I bedshare with our son. It works since I breastfeed.
Although my son is 17 months as of yesterday, he still breastfeeds throughout the day and night. I have taught him "NeeNee" whenever he wants to nurse. And for the past week, he's been asking quite frequently.
Since  I am a stay at home wife and mother, I wake up with our son. I figure my husband needs precious sleep so he can focus at work. He works a very technical job and quite honestly, he's extremely grouchy and not nice when he doesn't get sleep. So, we both decided it would be best for him to sleep at night but then relieve me in the morning before he went to work.
This worked for some time until his schedule changed. He now goes to work before 7 a.m.
My son doesn't wake up until around....7.
So, when he frequently wakes throughout the night to nurse and then play, it's left up to me to take care of him.
I know some of you may be thinking this is unfair.
Don't worry, I sometimes think the same thing.
But, ultimately my son and I can nap throughout the day to catch up on sleep.
My husband cannot. He goes to work. Naps are not available.
So here we are. Every other night, my son wakes up early in the morning with my minimal amounts of sleep and I sometimes fume.
I sometimes complain and moan, even get frustrated with my son because he won't sleep throughout the night.
I guess these are the results of Attachment parenting. I am a baby led kind of mommy. I don't place my son on a schedule, not yet.
And now, here we are.
(Sigh)
I wouldn't change a thing though. I'm just so darned tired.
So tired.
And yet, I look at my child and he's thriving.
He's confident, learning new words every day. He's slowly coming around to potty training and eating more food. He's lying next to me finally without me having to hold him and going to sleep. He's learning boundaries and patience, less whining and exercising more control of his emotions.
He plays by himself and has learned how to pet our cat.
He's learning, growing and thriving.
He hugs and gives kisses ALL DAY LONG! I love it!
He's even started snuggling with me throughout the day.
I just can't get enough.
I enjoy being a mom, his mom. He is my precious blessing.
Just...the sleep part, the lack of sleep is so hard.

Lord, please help me.

I bet this post doesn't make sense. LOL.
I think I'm done.

May the Lord bless you dear reader.

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