The Light within me

For almost two months, I have been in a strange funk.
I didn't know what was going on or why it started. I just felt...crappy.
During this time, I hardly read the bible or studied His word. I would make the attempt, but get distracted or fall asleep.
Sometimes this happens. But it was more frequent, as of late.
I prayed about it, couldn't understand why this wouldn't go away, but kept trying to adhere to my schedule. At 10:30 am, almost every day, I study the bible, meet and pray with God.
So while I kept it, I didn't feel like doing it.
I wasn't mad. I was not going through anything really. Nothing more than a strange funk.
Then last night, Jesus revealed the truth to me.
He revealed it through my husband's bible study with the online gamers.
John was talking to me about his bible study plan and discussion. He was very passionate about it. He used an example of Peter Griffin from the Family Guy. He asked the gamers if this character was a good example of a Godly man. What example does he portray to the public??
I started to think. There isn't anyone that these kids can watch or admire, without disgusting characteristics. Most of the men are taught to have sex, make money, have sex, buy nice cars and clothes, have sex,be charming, be a dog, be a thug...etc...etc...
What character on TV depicts an image of a man taking care of his family, staying faithful to his wife? Working diligently and praying faithfully to Jesus? There isn't one. Not one sitcom that shows this.
If the guy is in a relationship, he is almost always an idiot and the wife/girlfriend is the brains of the family/couple. So then...these young men, their eyes are filled with garbage. Total garbage. And if they are surrounded by bad examples, how do they know to do what is right by God? They are being filled with darkness. Filled with lies.
Jesus told me last night, my eyes and ears have been filled with garbage as of late. Darkness. Grayness. (is that a word?? LOL)
I've been listening to a lot of secular music because I am tired of the same old Christian sound. I want something new. Since John has been home, I've been watching a lot of secular anime. Filling me up with nothingness. Darkness. Fear.
I normally limit myself, and indulge my being, my very existence into Christ. Since I was involved elsewhere, the very depth of my body was becoming a void. A powerful void that left me alone, scared, and helpless. I wasn't sleeping well and feeling depraved.
I realize now, it was my fault. This is why, we MUST fill our eyes with light. We must surround ourselves with a CONSTANT reminder of Christ. Without Him, we are nothing. Without Him, we become dead.

Matthew 6:22-23

New International Version (NIV)

²² “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,^[a] your whole body will be full of light. ²³ But if your eyes are unhealthy,^[b] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

Fill your body with light!!


 

Overweight

I've been overweight most of my life. Around 11 years old, I put on a lot of weight. My parents always tried to force me to eat as a child and finally I started eating.
I've been fat ever since. And I hate myself because of it.
Last year I started to lose weight and then injured my back so I couldn't continue. Got discouraged, and here I am...complaining.

I suck.

Godless Chatter

"Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly." 2 Timothy 2:16


Hmm....godless chatter.
I read this scripture, this morning and began to really think about it.
How much do I talk about God? Jesus? Is He a part of my every day conversation? Or do I only talk about him when problems arise? Or when a crisis appears? When life's storms approach? Do I then, talk boldly about Christ? According to this scripture, I should speak of my Lord every day! But do I do this?
And what exactly is "godless" chatter? Well, that seems to be pretty simple, since the bible uses the term "godless", I'm sure that this means having a conversation without ever mentioning God.
So, how many of us do this? How many of us talk about everything and NEVER mention God? Almost all of us.
Take it from someone who has experienced this. When you start talking about Jesus, the people who are devoted to something or someone else, find NO INTEREST in your conversation. Most of us talk about ourselves and what we have accomplished or what we want to accomplish. When you bring up the name Jesus, people start to get uncomfortable, if not even argumentative. Why is this?
This is not the first time God has told us to keep His name, and His very essence in our conversation.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments (Mosaic Law) that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9


So does this mean we need to exist unto the Lord? YES! What I mean by that is, don't stop talking about God! Why talk about our Lord, one day a week? When He exists and showers us with mercy and grace...EVERY DAY?!! Shouldn't we be thankful and verbal about Him? Shouldn't we talk about His goodness every single day?
Remember, the bible says in 2 Timothy, that if we refuse to talk about God every day, at every moment available, we will indulge in godless chatter and BECOME MORE UNGODLY.
This happens constantly. Look around, and start listening to conversations. Very few ENJOY talking about Christ. And I'm not talking about a joy that involves discrediting Jesus. I'm talking about a joy and satisfaction that some people receive from simply mentioning His name. They talk about Scripture, about God, about Jesus and what He has done in their life.
These people preach love, truth, and faith. They rarely tire of their "godly" conversation.
I say rarely because sometimes, we fall out of season. And we get bummed out. In times like these, we don't talk about God. Or don't know what to say. But our hearts should never stray from the Lord. God knows how we feel and He understands our "seasons". Sometimes, you just won't feel like talking about Him. That's okay. But be prepared, both in season and out of season.

"Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-- with great patience and careful instruction."
2 Timothy 4:2


While we go through a season of dryness or lack of motivation, we should always be prepared. And how do we prepare.
Simple....spend time with God. Read the bible. Pray. Meditate on His word. Study His Word. Journal about His word. Talk about His word. Talk about Jesus. Talk about God. Sing to Him. Love Him. Live for Him.
You will never progress, in your walk with Christ, unless you take the steps to move forward.

God Bless!