Whoa....almost another year. Lol.
Life alert.
I had a baby. His name is Benjamin. He is 9 months old.
This parenting deal is hard and I would like to write about my experience.
Hopefully.
God bless.
Thursday, March 22, 2018
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Hello again!
Almost a year later and here I am! I want to write more. I really do!
I think a lot.
I should remember this blog, but I don't. I'll have to pray and ask God to help me remember. :)
Anyways, let's get to it.
I want to talk about Yahweh and life without Yahweh.
God called himself Yahweh in the Old Testament.
Yahweh means.... "I AM".
Do you know Yahweh?
Most of you don't. Many of you never will, and this is your choice.
But for those of us who may be interested...let's talk.
Yahweh is the Creator.
He created the Sun, Moon, Stars, Planets, Animals, Humans, Plants, Bugs and all other creations.
Science tries to explain HOW he did it, but no one know for sure. None of us were there when He created life, so we can't possibly know exactly how it was done, but we can guess!
We use science to make theories on how everything was done.
I do not believe that science is evil, just that it is not absolute. Yahweh created science. And He has allowed us to use it to our advantage. Maybe to get a unique and improved intelligence of our surroundings and resources, so that we may use these things for the appropriate time.
In no way, is science the Creator, rather it is the creat-ED. Make sense?
This may be hard to grasp.
Our world talks about science as if it is the absolute truth and Yahweh is the lie.
We want definite answers and when this cannot be provided to us, we gravitate towards any answer available.
Buddhism is a perfect example. There's a reason and answer for everything.
Yahweh, does not always provide a definite reason or clearly defined answer. Instead, He asks for faith in Him. To believe in Him and trust the answers will be provided soon.
So for most, a real relationship with Yahweh is out of the question.
If He does not do as we want, then we won't give Him the time or consideration!
But let's take a moment and think.
I have a few questions.
Do you know anyone alive today, who lived from the very beginning of existence?
If there is no one alive to explain the beginning to you, then how do you know that Yahweh does not exist?
How do you know for sure, that God does not live today?
Why do you refuse to even consider that maybe us "Jesus freaks" are telling the truth?
Is it pride? Most likely, but it's okay to be wrong.
Let's be real, I won't suffer any consequences if I am wrong. There is no penalty to die and see nothing. If I am wrong, I'll simply see nothing when it's all over....right?
But for those who deny the Lord, there is a penalty. And this post is to help you understand that.
I'm sure you may ask, "Why would I consider a relationship with someone who would punish me if I refuse him? I should be able to make my own choice and a "scare" tactic is unfair."
I get that.
So then, why would Yahweh want to spend eternity with someone who hates Him? Would you? Would you keep someone around who hates you? Would you force that person to live with you if they despised everything about you? Or much less, never took the time to build a relationship with you?
Maybe you would, I don't know. And to me, that's unfair, but Yahweh is merciful.
Since we are all destined to live forever, we must live somewhere right? And for those who deny Him, there's a place without Him. He won't force you to be with Him.
Instead the place that is truly separated from the Lord is called Hell or the Abyss.
Originally, this place was intended for Angels who rebelled against Him, but now it's a place where everyone goes who refuses to choose Yahweh.
Update...4/18/2017. I never finished this post, but read it again and wanted to share what I was motivated to write.
Almost a year later and here I am! I want to write more. I really do!
I think a lot.
I should remember this blog, but I don't. I'll have to pray and ask God to help me remember. :)
Anyways, let's get to it.
I want to talk about Yahweh and life without Yahweh.
God called himself Yahweh in the Old Testament.
Yahweh means.... "I AM".
Do you know Yahweh?
Most of you don't. Many of you never will, and this is your choice.
But for those of us who may be interested...let's talk.
Yahweh is the Creator.
He created the Sun, Moon, Stars, Planets, Animals, Humans, Plants, Bugs and all other creations.
Science tries to explain HOW he did it, but no one know for sure. None of us were there when He created life, so we can't possibly know exactly how it was done, but we can guess!
We use science to make theories on how everything was done.
I do not believe that science is evil, just that it is not absolute. Yahweh created science. And He has allowed us to use it to our advantage. Maybe to get a unique and improved intelligence of our surroundings and resources, so that we may use these things for the appropriate time.
In no way, is science the Creator, rather it is the creat-ED. Make sense?
This may be hard to grasp.
Our world talks about science as if it is the absolute truth and Yahweh is the lie.
We want definite answers and when this cannot be provided to us, we gravitate towards any answer available.
Buddhism is a perfect example. There's a reason and answer for everything.
Yahweh, does not always provide a definite reason or clearly defined answer. Instead, He asks for faith in Him. To believe in Him and trust the answers will be provided soon.
So for most, a real relationship with Yahweh is out of the question.
If He does not do as we want, then we won't give Him the time or consideration!
But let's take a moment and think.
I have a few questions.
Do you know anyone alive today, who lived from the very beginning of existence?
If there is no one alive to explain the beginning to you, then how do you know that Yahweh does not exist?
How do you know for sure, that God does not live today?
Why do you refuse to even consider that maybe us "Jesus freaks" are telling the truth?
Is it pride? Most likely, but it's okay to be wrong.
Let's be real, I won't suffer any consequences if I am wrong. There is no penalty to die and see nothing. If I am wrong, I'll simply see nothing when it's all over....right?
But for those who deny the Lord, there is a penalty. And this post is to help you understand that.
I'm sure you may ask, "Why would I consider a relationship with someone who would punish me if I refuse him? I should be able to make my own choice and a "scare" tactic is unfair."
I get that.
So then, why would Yahweh want to spend eternity with someone who hates Him? Would you? Would you keep someone around who hates you? Would you force that person to live with you if they despised everything about you? Or much less, never took the time to build a relationship with you?
Maybe you would, I don't know. And to me, that's unfair, but Yahweh is merciful.
Since we are all destined to live forever, we must live somewhere right? And for those who deny Him, there's a place without Him. He won't force you to be with Him.
Instead the place that is truly separated from the Lord is called Hell or the Abyss.
Originally, this place was intended for Angels who rebelled against Him, but now it's a place where everyone goes who refuses to choose Yahweh.
Update...4/18/2017. I never finished this post, but read it again and wanted to share what I was motivated to write.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
So you want to make a difference???
I know two people in two different states who have repeatedly talked
about "helping others" and "making a difference in the world".
Their statements are the same.
"I really feel like God wants me to help people...."
"I was meant to do something great and help a bunch of people!"
I understand their sentiment and yes, it is admirable but watching them and how they treat others....makes me wonder. They keep waiting to help people.
This doesn't make any sense.
Jesus talks about helping people with what you have. Literally. The new testament reports stories of the miracles he performed, by multiplying what the disciples had at that moment, to help those in need. So to be honest, if you don't have millions of dollars to give or to use to "help" others, let's make it simple....what do you have? We all have something. Use what you have to help someone.
There are so many people around us who are broken and hurting....we could ALL pitch in to spread the love of Christ. The harvest is plentiful remember?
Why do we have to wait until we make big money, or strike it rich? Why do we have to be famous to help people? Can't we just help our neighbor? If you're asking yourself...what neighbor? I'm talking about the one living next to you! The one at your job, the lady in the grocery line! ANYONE! It doesn't take millions of dollars to change lives. If money were required, then Jesus would have been born into a wealthy family. He would have lived a life LOADED, while throwing money to every poor soul, changing lives with every coin!! Except.....that didn't happen. Jesus was broke, homeless and STILL changes lives today.
So what can your money do? I'm not saying don't use the dollar to aid others. That's not what I'm saying at all. I AM saying don't wait to make a bunch of money to help people. That's not how it works.
If the Lord blesses you with a little and you refuse to use that little to bless others, then why should he trust you with a lot? (Luke 16:10)
Just saying.
Their statements are the same.
"I really feel like God wants me to help people...."
"I was meant to do something great and help a bunch of people!"
I understand their sentiment and yes, it is admirable but watching them and how they treat others....makes me wonder. They keep waiting to help people.
This doesn't make any sense.
Jesus talks about helping people with what you have. Literally. The new testament reports stories of the miracles he performed, by multiplying what the disciples had at that moment, to help those in need. So to be honest, if you don't have millions of dollars to give or to use to "help" others, let's make it simple....what do you have? We all have something. Use what you have to help someone.
There are so many people around us who are broken and hurting....we could ALL pitch in to spread the love of Christ. The harvest is plentiful remember?
Why do we have to wait until we make big money, or strike it rich? Why do we have to be famous to help people? Can't we just help our neighbor? If you're asking yourself...what neighbor? I'm talking about the one living next to you! The one at your job, the lady in the grocery line! ANYONE! It doesn't take millions of dollars to change lives. If money were required, then Jesus would have been born into a wealthy family. He would have lived a life LOADED, while throwing money to every poor soul, changing lives with every coin!! Except.....that didn't happen. Jesus was broke, homeless and STILL changes lives today.
So what can your money do? I'm not saying don't use the dollar to aid others. That's not what I'm saying at all. I AM saying don't wait to make a bunch of money to help people. That's not how it works.
If the Lord blesses you with a little and you refuse to use that little to bless others, then why should he trust you with a lot? (Luke 16:10)
Just saying.
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Thoughts of a Jesus Lover
Yesterday evening, as my husband and I walked into Walmart, we noticed a small group of men. These men were selling "cross" necklaces for $5.00 to help fund their ministry to reach addicted individuals. They were all graduates from Teen Challenge. As John and I were leaving, we decided to take out some extra cash and give to their ministry.
I asked one man, if they were successful or making a lot of sales. His response was unsettling.
"No. Pensacola is hard. The people here are hard to reach."
I left feeling so sad. 'The people are hard to reach?'
I spoke about this to a few dear friends, and I think they were a little shocked about this too. After further conversation, one of my friends voiced her opinion. She speculated that maybe people are desensitized to the church. She says there are 700 churches in Pensacola alone. So maybe people see Christianity over and over again, and they are no longer receptive, because it's everywhere.
I thought about that....maybe she was right.
But then...I started to feel a deeper level of sadness.
700 churches. That's a rather big army.
If there are truly 700 "churches" obedient to Christ, in Pensacola, with active and spirit filled members, shouldn't we see a Revolution? A transformation? Shouldn't the people of Pensacola NOT be tired or wary of the church, but changed? Renewed? Healed? Rejoicing? Full of hope? Full of faith? Filled with joy? Seeking peace? Seeking relationship? Seeking God?
See....you cannot, and I repeat, you Cannot have a real encounter with Jesus and remain unchanged. He is the author and creator of life. God is all about fixing, renewing and rebuilding each of us so we can live our life as HE intended...which I promise, is far better than anything you and I have planned or anyone else for that matter.
The spirit is FULL of life! And each of us, as an ambassador of Christ should live a life to reflect his spirit. Right? They should hear his name and the gospel and as we sow the seeds, the Lord will do the rest. I should hope when people see me, they see Jesus, not Mary. Not you...right?
Of course, realistically, you will face stubbornness, denial, refusal and every other act of rebellion against our Father. But we should never falter or QUIT. We MUST spread the word. We MUST love and teach about Jesus.
And church, people of pensacola who attend church, if we cannot do this and reap the harvest Jesus so clearly explains is ready(Luke 10:2), then what exactly are we doing?
The thought that there are 700 churches and people are perhaps, tired of hearing about Jesus? What are we doing?
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Update
Random posts.
I seem to write a lot of these.
I am inconsistent and sometimes ignore the call to write. I believe my journaling aka...blogs can be somewhat depressing. But I do like to keep a record of my life.
I am happily married to the most wonderful man on earth. His name is John. We do not have children. We have instead, a fur baby.
I work for a billing company and try my best to clear claims. I love my job but hate the festering drama. Women are dramatic, controlling, manipulative and jealous. All traits I find repulsive. I used to try and make friends....now I hesitate to trust anyone with my life. I dare not speak too much of my past, my history. As soon as you display your secrets, your most precious jewels...the thieves come to steal it all away. They never handle you with care. Instead, they abuse you. And I've had enough.
So I keep my work and personal life separate. It works better this way.
I also love the fact, that while I am writing this, my dear husband is reading every word. He's so nosey...and I find it so cute. Most people would be annoyed I guess. Not me. Ahhhh....that was off the subject. So back to my life...
Work, work, work. I'm trying to get an exercise routine going. I've been walking with my husband a minimum of 2 days a week. Meals? Still working that part out. But this is a journey that takes time, trial and error. I want to win this time and not just so I can look good. But so I can FEEL good. Feel healthy. This is more important than being sexy. (Although I must admit, I am a very sexy woman...when the moment calls for me to seductive)
Health is your wealth. I watched 70 year old man dance for 15 minutes straight during worship. He told me he's been active since he was young. He knew it was important to be healthy. Now he's 70 years old and looks great! Moves wonderfully.
I wanna be like him when I grow up.
Music. I still love to sing. I want to write music but haven't had the motivation. I want to write a novel...no motivation. I want to start a life group. No motivation. I'm in a funk I guess. Lazy? I dunno. But I am going to try my best to move out of it. I won't be here for long.
Something new will begin. I feel it.
I've been wanting to have a baby. A baby boy. We even picked out a name. Noah Jonathan Walker. John isn't ready yet. God knows the right time.
*sigh*
Guess I'm done for today.
I seem to write a lot of these.
I am inconsistent and sometimes ignore the call to write. I believe my journaling aka...blogs can be somewhat depressing. But I do like to keep a record of my life.
I am happily married to the most wonderful man on earth. His name is John. We do not have children. We have instead, a fur baby.
I work for a billing company and try my best to clear claims. I love my job but hate the festering drama. Women are dramatic, controlling, manipulative and jealous. All traits I find repulsive. I used to try and make friends....now I hesitate to trust anyone with my life. I dare not speak too much of my past, my history. As soon as you display your secrets, your most precious jewels...the thieves come to steal it all away. They never handle you with care. Instead, they abuse you. And I've had enough.
So I keep my work and personal life separate. It works better this way.
I also love the fact, that while I am writing this, my dear husband is reading every word. He's so nosey...and I find it so cute. Most people would be annoyed I guess. Not me. Ahhhh....that was off the subject. So back to my life...
Work, work, work. I'm trying to get an exercise routine going. I've been walking with my husband a minimum of 2 days a week. Meals? Still working that part out. But this is a journey that takes time, trial and error. I want to win this time and not just so I can look good. But so I can FEEL good. Feel healthy. This is more important than being sexy. (Although I must admit, I am a very sexy woman...when the moment calls for me to seductive)
Health is your wealth. I watched 70 year old man dance for 15 minutes straight during worship. He told me he's been active since he was young. He knew it was important to be healthy. Now he's 70 years old and looks great! Moves wonderfully.
I wanna be like him when I grow up.
Music. I still love to sing. I want to write music but haven't had the motivation. I want to write a novel...no motivation. I want to start a life group. No motivation. I'm in a funk I guess. Lazy? I dunno. But I am going to try my best to move out of it. I won't be here for long.
Something new will begin. I feel it.
I've been wanting to have a baby. A baby boy. We even picked out a name. Noah Jonathan Walker. John isn't ready yet. God knows the right time.
*sigh*
Guess I'm done for today.
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Funky Funk
Change.
I don't particularly like change and I don't welcome it. I prefer to remain as I am. No changes, nothing remarkable and yet....
Here I am, typing out my emotions on a blog that some random will read. I feel...lost. Or something is definitely missing. I wish I knew what it was, or why I feel like this. But I'm....not sure how to word it. Maybe Im tired.
Tired of my job
Tired of my apartment
Tired of my weight
Tired of uncaring/unloving people
Tired of being frustrated
Tired of being Tired. LOL
I haven't spent the time I want with the Lord. My new job has made me very angry and bitter. So...instead of diving MORE into the word, I've read it here and there.
Maybe this is a season. A part of my life that's changing. I dunno.
At my job, I managed to make a life long friend. Her name is Marta. I love her dearly and thank the Lord for someone like her. She's not needy or overbearing. She's a lot like me. LOL.
I haven't been to church in a month. We went today and I was disappointed when I left. Havent been there a month and NO one has missed us.
Whatever. Just not feeling Harvest right now.
I start a new job April 13, 2015. I pray that it is something I enjoy.
My life is blessed but I feel so crappy right now.
For those of you that read this, please pray that this funk passes quickly.
Thank you.
MW
I don't particularly like change and I don't welcome it. I prefer to remain as I am. No changes, nothing remarkable and yet....
Here I am, typing out my emotions on a blog that some random will read. I feel...lost. Or something is definitely missing. I wish I knew what it was, or why I feel like this. But I'm....not sure how to word it. Maybe Im tired.
Tired of my job
Tired of my apartment
Tired of my weight
Tired of uncaring/unloving people
Tired of being frustrated
Tired of being Tired. LOL
I haven't spent the time I want with the Lord. My new job has made me very angry and bitter. So...instead of diving MORE into the word, I've read it here and there.
Maybe this is a season. A part of my life that's changing. I dunno.
At my job, I managed to make a life long friend. Her name is Marta. I love her dearly and thank the Lord for someone like her. She's not needy or overbearing. She's a lot like me. LOL.
I haven't been to church in a month. We went today and I was disappointed when I left. Havent been there a month and NO one has missed us.
Whatever. Just not feeling Harvest right now.
I start a new job April 13, 2015. I pray that it is something I enjoy.
My life is blessed but I feel so crappy right now.
For those of you that read this, please pray that this funk passes quickly.
Thank you.
MW
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Fat and Miserable
Yes. I am overweight. About 100 lbs overweight.
I've been overweight most of my entire life.
At some point, I was fed up with my weight and decided to do something about it. Well.....let's be honest, I was fed up for many "parts" of my life, and I decided to attempt weight loss. Some attempts were more successful than others. I even lost a whopping 28 lbs on my own, embracing the Atkins diet. (Horrible diet! Don't do it.) After I lost the weight and got the attention I so desired, I got comfortable and decided to eat what I wanted. This resulted in an even bigger size.
Years pass by and I get older, all the while, gaining more weight. Around 30 years old, a doctor decides to tell me that I may be hypertensive. I rebuked that in Jesus' name and kept on trucking doing what I wanted, until the stress of life and my job resulted in abnormal heart palpitations. They ended up putting me on some meds for the palpitations which also lowered blood pressure. (Bystolic)
I took this for almost a year and finally took myself off, as well as the Klonopin. I felt and still feel like I don't need it. I detest taking medications. Pharmaceutical companies are not so much geared to HELP society, but to make money. At least in my opinion. So I stopped the meds, and a few years pass. I'm married and in love. My husband is an inactive type of guy, so my activity levels decreased. No, it's not his fault, but it's kinda hard to get active when all I want to do is SIT up under that man. I'm madly inlove and since he likes to sit around, I like to sit around with him and spend time with my hubby. Bad habits perhaps?
2013 was a great start. For some reason, I woke up and said no more! I started actively walking at the track down the street from our apartment, even going without my husband who thought of every excuse to stop me. Eventually, he came around because he could see I was losing weight. Since weighing myself and seeing a number really discourages me, I never weighed in. I don't know how much weight I lost, but it was enough to be noticeable. My eating habits had changed. I went completely vegan for a while, then changed my mind and went Semi-vegetarian only eating chicken and fish. This worked out great. Soon afterwards, I severely injured my back while running on the track and could not walk or stand for long periods of time. I couldn't walk for several months. And as the time went by, my enthusiasm slowly disappeared. I was angry and very hurt. It didn't seem fair. I was finally doing something about my weight but now what was I doing? Lying around and "healing". Overall, I quit. I just gave up. I kept saying I would go back and get started, complete my training for a marathon, but I haven't done it yet.
So I asked myself why. Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep running my mouth, crying about my weight and doing nothing about it? I've been doing this for 14 years.
The answer: I don't know.
I don't understand myself.
Overall....I'm miserable. I don't like the way I look. "So get up and do something about it!" Well ya know...it's not always that easy.
I feel bad. My thoracic spine is in extreme pain sometimes. For the past week I've been trying Yoga and seeing great results. Have I been keeping up with the routines? Nope! I start something and then I don't finish. It's like something hanging over me, most of my entire life concerning my weight.
*sigh*
So I decided to start recording myself, recording a blog about my weight loss.
This time...I'm not sure what's going to happen. I don't have anyone encouraging me to lose weight. It's me...all by myself. Right now, I don't have anything positive to say or anything uplifting.
I guess I just want to start feeling better and feeding my body healthier food.
I'll post videos on youtube.
Mary W
I've been overweight most of my entire life.
At some point, I was fed up with my weight and decided to do something about it. Well.....let's be honest, I was fed up for many "parts" of my life, and I decided to attempt weight loss. Some attempts were more successful than others. I even lost a whopping 28 lbs on my own, embracing the Atkins diet. (Horrible diet! Don't do it.) After I lost the weight and got the attention I so desired, I got comfortable and decided to eat what I wanted. This resulted in an even bigger size.
Years pass by and I get older, all the while, gaining more weight. Around 30 years old, a doctor decides to tell me that I may be hypertensive. I rebuked that in Jesus' name and kept on trucking doing what I wanted, until the stress of life and my job resulted in abnormal heart palpitations. They ended up putting me on some meds for the palpitations which also lowered blood pressure. (Bystolic)
I took this for almost a year and finally took myself off, as well as the Klonopin. I felt and still feel like I don't need it. I detest taking medications. Pharmaceutical companies are not so much geared to HELP society, but to make money. At least in my opinion. So I stopped the meds, and a few years pass. I'm married and in love. My husband is an inactive type of guy, so my activity levels decreased. No, it's not his fault, but it's kinda hard to get active when all I want to do is SIT up under that man. I'm madly inlove and since he likes to sit around, I like to sit around with him and spend time with my hubby. Bad habits perhaps?
2013 was a great start. For some reason, I woke up and said no more! I started actively walking at the track down the street from our apartment, even going without my husband who thought of every excuse to stop me. Eventually, he came around because he could see I was losing weight. Since weighing myself and seeing a number really discourages me, I never weighed in. I don't know how much weight I lost, but it was enough to be noticeable. My eating habits had changed. I went completely vegan for a while, then changed my mind and went Semi-vegetarian only eating chicken and fish. This worked out great. Soon afterwards, I severely injured my back while running on the track and could not walk or stand for long periods of time. I couldn't walk for several months. And as the time went by, my enthusiasm slowly disappeared. I was angry and very hurt. It didn't seem fair. I was finally doing something about my weight but now what was I doing? Lying around and "healing". Overall, I quit. I just gave up. I kept saying I would go back and get started, complete my training for a marathon, but I haven't done it yet.
So I asked myself why. Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep running my mouth, crying about my weight and doing nothing about it? I've been doing this for 14 years.
The answer: I don't know.
I don't understand myself.
Overall....I'm miserable. I don't like the way I look. "So get up and do something about it!" Well ya know...it's not always that easy.
I feel bad. My thoracic spine is in extreme pain sometimes. For the past week I've been trying Yoga and seeing great results. Have I been keeping up with the routines? Nope! I start something and then I don't finish. It's like something hanging over me, most of my entire life concerning my weight.
*sigh*
So I decided to start recording myself, recording a blog about my weight loss.
This time...I'm not sure what's going to happen. I don't have anyone encouraging me to lose weight. It's me...all by myself. Right now, I don't have anything positive to say or anything uplifting.
I guess I just want to start feeling better and feeding my body healthier food.
I'll post videos on youtube.
Mary W
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