So you want to make a difference???

I know two people in two different states who have repeatedly talked about "helping others" and "making a difference in the world".
Their statements are the same.
"I really feel like God wants me to help people...."
"I was meant to do something great and help a bunch of people!"
I understand their sentiment and yes, it is admirable but watching them and how they treat others....makes me wonder. They keep waiting to help people.
This doesn't make any sense.
Jesus talks about helping people with what you have. Literally. The new testament reports stories of the miracles he performed, by multiplying what the disciples had at that moment, to help those in need. So to be honest, if you don't have millions of dollars to give or to use to "help" others, let's make it simple....what do you have? We all have something. Use what you have to help someone.
There are so many people around us who are broken and hurting....we could ALL pitch in to spread the love of Christ. The harvest is plentiful remember?
Why do we have to wait until we make big money, or strike it rich? Why do we have to be famous to help people? Can't we just help our neighbor? If you're asking yourself...what neighbor? I'm talking about the one living next to you! The one at your job, the lady in the grocery line! ANYONE! It doesn't take millions of dollars to change lives. If money were required, then Jesus would have been born into a wealthy family. He would have lived a life LOADED, while throwing money to every poor soul, changing lives with every coin!! Except.....that didn't happen. Jesus was broke, homeless and STILL changes lives today.
So what can your money do? I'm not saying don't use the dollar to aid others. That's not what I'm saying at all. I AM saying don't wait to make a bunch of money to help people. That's not how it works.
If the Lord blesses you with a little and you refuse to use that little to bless others, then why should he trust you with a lot? (Luke 16:10)
Just saying.

Thoughts of a Jesus Lover

Yesterday evening, as my husband and I walked into Walmart, we noticed a small group of men. These men were selling "cross" necklaces for $5.00 to help fund their ministry to reach addicted individuals. They were all graduates from Teen Challenge. As John and I were leaving, we decided to take out some extra cash and give to their ministry.
I asked one man, if they were successful or making a lot of sales. His response was unsettling.
"No. Pensacola is hard. The people here are hard to reach."
I left feeling so sad. 'The people are hard to reach?'
I spoke about this to a few dear friends, and I think they were a little shocked about this too. After further conversation, one of my friends voiced her opinion. She speculated that maybe people are desensitized to the church. She says there are 700 churches in Pensacola alone. So maybe people see Christianity over and over again, and they are no longer receptive, because it's everywhere.
I thought about that....maybe she was right.
But then...I started to feel a deeper level of sadness.
700 churches. That's a rather big army.
If there are truly 700 "churches" obedient to Christ, in Pensacola, with active and spirit filled members, shouldn't we see a Revolution? A transformation? Shouldn't the people of Pensacola NOT be tired or wary of the church, but changed? Renewed? Healed? Rejoicing? Full of hope? Full of faith? Filled with joy? Seeking peace? Seeking relationship? Seeking God?
See....you cannot, and I repeat, you Cannot have a real encounter with Jesus and remain unchanged. He is the author and creator of life. God is all about fixing, renewing and rebuilding each of us so we can live our life as HE intended...which I promise, is far better than anything you and I have planned or anyone else for that matter.
The spirit is FULL of life! And each of us, as an ambassador of Christ should live a life to reflect his spirit. Right? They should hear his name and the gospel and as we sow the seeds, the Lord will do the rest. I should hope when people see me, they see Jesus, not Mary. Not you...right?
Of course, realistically, you will face stubbornness, denial, refusal and every other act of rebellion against our Father. But we should never falter or QUIT. We MUST spread the word. We MUST love and teach about Jesus.
And church, people of pensacola who attend church, if we cannot do this and reap the harvest Jesus so clearly explains is ready(Luke 10:2), then what exactly are we doing?
The thought that there are 700 churches and people are perhaps, tired of hearing about Jesus? What are we doing?

Update

Random posts.
I seem to write a lot of these.
I am inconsistent and sometimes ignore the call to write. I believe my journaling aka...blogs can be somewhat depressing. But I do like to keep a record of my life.
I am happily married to the most wonderful man on earth. His name is John. We do not have children. We have instead, a fur baby.
I work for a billing company and try my best to clear claims. I love my job but hate the festering drama. Women are dramatic, controlling, manipulative and jealous. All traits I find repulsive. I used to try and make friends....now I hesitate to trust anyone with my life. I dare not speak too much of my past, my history. As soon as you display your secrets, your most precious jewels...the thieves come to steal it all away. They never handle you with care. Instead, they abuse you. And I've had enough.
So I keep my work and personal life separate. It works better this way.
I also love the fact, that while I am writing this, my dear husband is reading every word. He's so nosey...and I find it so cute. Most people would be annoyed I guess. Not me. Ahhhh....that was off the subject. So back to my life...
Work, work, work. I'm trying to get an exercise routine going. I've been walking with my husband a minimum of 2 days a week. Meals? Still working that part out. But this is a journey that takes time, trial and error. I want to win this time and not just so I can look good. But so I can FEEL good. Feel healthy. This is more important than being sexy. (Although I must admit, I am a very sexy woman...when the moment calls for me to seductive)
Health is your wealth. I watched 70 year old man dance for 15 minutes straight during worship. He told me he's been active since he was young. He knew it was important to be healthy. Now he's 70 years old and looks great! Moves wonderfully.
I wanna be like him when I grow up.
Music. I still love to sing. I want to write music but haven't had the motivation. I want to write a novel...no motivation. I want to start a life group. No motivation. I'm in a funk I guess. Lazy? I dunno. But I am going to try my best to move out of it. I won't be here for long.
Something new will begin. I feel it.
I've been wanting to have a baby. A baby boy. We even picked out a name. Noah Jonathan Walker. John isn't ready yet. God knows the right time.
*sigh*
Guess I'm done for today.

Funky Funk

Change.
I don't particularly like change and I don't welcome it. I prefer to remain as I am. No changes, nothing remarkable and yet....
Here I am, typing out my emotions on a blog that some random will read. I feel...lost. Or something is definitely missing. I wish I knew what it was, or why I feel like this. But I'm....not sure how to word it. Maybe Im tired.
Tired of my job
Tired of my apartment
Tired of my weight
Tired of uncaring/unloving people
Tired of being frustrated
Tired of being Tired. LOL
I haven't spent the time I want with the Lord. My new job has made me very angry and bitter. So...instead of diving MORE into the word, I've read it here and there.
Maybe this is a season. A part of my life that's changing. I dunno.
At my job, I managed to make a life long friend. Her name is Marta. I love her dearly and thank the Lord for someone like her. She's not needy or overbearing. She's a lot like me. LOL.
I haven't been to church in a month. We went today and I was disappointed when I left. Havent been there a month and NO one has missed us.
Whatever. Just not feeling Harvest right now.
I start a new job April 13, 2015. I pray that it is something I enjoy.
My life is blessed but I feel so crappy right now.

For those of you that read this, please pray that this funk passes quickly.
Thank you.

MW

Fat and Miserable

Yes. I am overweight. About 100 lbs overweight.
I've been overweight most of my entire life.
At some point, I was fed up with my weight and decided to do something about it. Well.....let's be honest, I was fed up for many "parts" of  my life, and I decided to attempt weight loss. Some attempts were more successful than others. I even lost a whopping 28 lbs on my own, embracing the Atkins diet. (Horrible diet! Don't do it.) After I lost the weight and got the attention I so desired, I got comfortable and decided to eat what I wanted. This resulted in an even bigger size.
Years pass by and I get older, all the while, gaining more weight. Around 30 years old, a doctor decides to tell me that I may be hypertensive. I rebuked that in Jesus' name and kept on trucking doing what I wanted, until the stress of life and my job resulted in abnormal heart palpitations. They ended up putting me on some meds for the palpitations which also lowered blood pressure. (Bystolic)
I took this for almost a year and finally took myself off, as well as the Klonopin. I felt and still feel like I don't need it. I detest taking medications. Pharmaceutical companies are not so much geared to HELP society, but to make money. At least in my opinion. So I stopped the meds, and a few years pass. I'm married and in love. My husband is an inactive type of guy, so my activity levels decreased. No, it's not his fault, but it's kinda hard to get active when all I want to do is SIT up under that man. I'm madly inlove and since he likes to sit around, I like to sit around with him and spend time with my hubby. Bad habits perhaps?
2013 was a great start. For some reason, I woke up and said no more! I started actively walking at the track down the street from our apartment, even going without my husband who thought of every excuse to stop me. Eventually, he came around because he could see I was losing weight. Since weighing myself and seeing a number really discourages me, I never weighed in. I don't know how much weight I lost, but it was enough to be noticeable. My eating habits had changed. I went completely vegan for a while, then changed my mind and went Semi-vegetarian only eating chicken and fish. This worked out great. Soon afterwards, I severely injured my back while running on the track and could not walk or stand for long periods of time. I couldn't walk for several months. And as the time went by, my enthusiasm slowly disappeared. I was angry and very hurt. It didn't seem fair. I was finally doing something about my weight but now what was I doing? Lying around and "healing". Overall, I quit. I just gave up. I kept saying I would go back and get started, complete my training for a marathon, but I haven't done it yet.
So I asked myself why.  Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep running my mouth, crying about my weight and doing nothing about it? I've been doing this for 14 years.
The answer: I don't know.
I don't understand myself.

Overall....I'm miserable. I don't like the way I look. "So get up and do something about it!" Well ya know...it's not always that easy.
I feel bad. My thoracic spine is in extreme pain sometimes. For the past week I've been trying Yoga and seeing great results. Have I been keeping up with the routines? Nope! I start something and then I don't finish. It's like something hanging over me, most of my entire life concerning my weight.
*sigh*

So I decided to start recording myself, recording a blog about my weight loss.

This time...I'm not sure what's going to happen. I don't have anyone encouraging me to lose weight. It's me...all by myself. Right now, I don't have anything positive to say or anything uplifting.
I guess I just want to start feeling better and feeding my body healthier food.
I'll post videos on youtube.

Mary W

All He does is WIN WIN WIN no matter what!

Oh! Jesus is amazing!
Is anyone familiar with Joshua? The Joshua of the bible? If you are not familiar with this man, there is an entire book about him in the bible named: Joshua. Haha.
Anyways, he was Moses' apprentice so to speak. And after Moses passed away, Joshua took over leadership of Israel and lead them to many victories against their enemy in a foreign land. Keep in mind, his victories were not won on his own, but won by the hand of God.
God was with Joshua.
This made Joshua a winner! Victorious!
And I want to talk about how you and I can have the same victory.

In Joshua, chapter 11, the bible speaks about Israel fighting against a HUGE army.

"When Jabin king of Hazor heard of this, he sent word to Jobab king of Madon, to the kings of Shimron and Acshaph, and to the northern kings who were in the mountains, in the arabah south of Kinnereth, in the westeren foothills and in Naphoth Dor on the west, to the Canaanites in the east and west; to the Amorities, Hittities, Perizzites and Jebusites in the hill country; and to the Hivites below Hermon in the region of Mizpah. They came out with all their troops and a large number of horses and chariots-- a huge army, as numerous as the sand on the seashore. All these kings joined forces and made camp together at the Waters of Merom, to fight against Israel."
Joshua 11:1-5

Now, let's think about this for a moment. King Jabin, sent word to many kings in the Northern region. Back then, they didn't have email, or a postal system. They didn't have phones or telegrams. They had horses, and messengers. Can you imagine how long this took to gather all of these men together? To come to an agreement concerning their alliances and provisions. I'm sure they discussed a campaign and strategy on how to eliminate the Israelites. These kings did not just blindly come together to fight. No. A smart king, is going to come up with a plan to win every battle. Right?
So I can only assume that throughout their meetings and traveling back and forth in between kingdoms, their plot to destroy Israel took some work, and some time. Apparently, Jabin had enough influence to talk these Kings into rallying their forces and joining him in this fight.
The kings of the Northern region must have felt powerful. They knew they were numerous and their number alone, should have promised victory. But they failed to realize who they were fighting against. They weren't fighting against Israel alone. They were fighting against God.
And ya know what?
God ALWAYS wins!!
I am reminded of life in general. I'm sure many of you have encountered people in your life who work together against you. It's the same scenario. The enemy will rally it's forces to bring you down. And the enemy does not work in small numbers, not all the time. Sometimes you face something or someone so huge, and so large, you doubt if you'll make it. But this story of Joshua is a reminder for those who are in Christ. For those who believe in Jesus, we have hope and a God is STRONG! Do you understand what I'm saying? GOD IS REALLY STRONG! He can boss haul anyone!
Were the Israelites afraid? I'm sure they were. They were facing a nasty battle that threatened to kill them all. And yet God told Joshua:

"Do not be afraid of them because by this time tomorrow, I will hand all of them over to Israel, slain." Joshua 11:6

God is saying, I know what you're going through. I know how big the battle may seem to you. I know that you are afraid of what might happen, but I am going to handle this. I am going to deliver you. I am going to protect. I am going to make you victorious against your enemies! Don't worry about what you may see in front you. The battle is already won, because I AM will deliver you.
He told Moses, His name was "I am" for a reason! God IS everything that you and I need.

There is power in the name of Jesus!! There is power in knowing that God is FOR you, not against you! But you cannot tap into this power if you don't believe in Him.
Do you believe in Jesus? Do you trust in Him? Do you obey the Lord?
The Israelites did. And they won the battle against the Northern Kings.
See, you can't win if you refuse to obey God. Jesus says, if you love him, you would obey his commands. Obedience to the Lord is righteousness. The Israelites would not have won if they refused to obey the Lord and follow His commands.
But in this case, they were victorious through Him.
God gave them rest soon after this battle.

The Lord does not change. No matter how big your enemy may be, remember God wins....no matter what. He will give you victory just like He gave the Israelites victory.
Trust and believe in Him. Call on Him and praise our God!
There is no one like Him.

I bless each of you, in Jesus' name.
Amen.

Mary W.

Emotions-----Being a mindful wife

Yesterday my husband and I had an indifference.
We were walking and my husband was tired and dealing with persistent bugs that bite, so he told me we were going home. This made me mad, and I lashed out at him.
This made him mad, and he walked on ahead of me. I had read earlier that morning in 1 Corinthians 4:20, that the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk, but of power. So while he and I were both angry, I spoke out loud against that spirit of limitations that covers my husband. I broke that hold on him in the name of Jesus. And I was passionate about it. John walked ahead of me until he got home. I made it home shortly afterwards. I found out later that he thought I was talking about him in a negative way. I was talking about him, but I was talking about him to Jesus, and claiming victory for my husband. He limits himself because of fear and sometimes laziness.
At home, we didn't argue. That's not what we do. We talk about our problems, but sometimes that may take a few hours before we are ready to speak. So, I went and did laundry and shopped for groceries. By the time I was done, and at home, he was ready to talk. I was ready to talk.
He apologized and I apologized.
In the past, I would have some long winded speech about what he did and how I felt and blah blah blah. But this time, I did not go on. I spoke briefly and listened. I listened to him speak. He doesn't speak readily like myself, like most women. As a man, he speaks when he is ready. I respect this and do my best to not incite him.
Last night, while in bed, he seemed distressed. I asked him to elaborate if he wanted and I would listen without lecturing. He kissed me and held me close for it, then he began to talk about what was on his mind. I don't get a chance to hear this often. But I was thankful that he would allow me to listen. My husband has been internalizing everything.
I did not know this. He never said a word.
All those times I thought he had his mind on things that were not important, I was wrong. He was concerned just as I was concerned. He just doesn't know how to deal with conflict. He is not confrontational and/or argumentative. He avoids it all costs. This is because of his mother. (that's another blog. LOL)
I lay in his arms and listened to my husband tell me his inner most thoughts about our life together and the problems we are facing together. There was a lot on his mind. I wanted to take it all away.
I thought about emotions this morning and how some of us will bottle everything up and not deal with it. This is dangerous and cause long term problems. My husband, my sweet sweet husband, has been bottling his emotions for a long time. And I never knew this.
Ladies, take time to talk to your husband. Take time to LISTEN. You don't always have to be right and you don't always have to do all of the talking. Our men are human, just as we are human. We may process things differently, but they have emotions and feelings too.
There are times they may try to take on the world by themselves. Remind them that you are there to bring them good, not harm. (proverbs 31:12) Remind them that they are not alone, you are their helper!
Encourage, praise and make your husband the second most important priority in your life. Jesus comes first. Your husband comes second. Don't waste time arguing with your man, or making him feel less of a man. You cannot define manhood. You are made a woman for a reason. Treat him with utmost respect and honor your husband. Tell him how much you love him. He fights for you (children if you have any) every day.
Don't let your emotions get out of control. Stop beating up your husband with your words. He deserves better. Find out how his mind works and remove the idea that you are always right. Because guess what, you are almost always wrong. This is why Jesus died for you, for me, for your husband, for everyone. 
Our emotions drive us to do crazy things...but they can be controlled. You can be disciplined.
Make a choice and constant effort to control your emotions.

Blessings to you.